How GOOD are hands?! Seriously, what GENIUS thought up these uncanny devices? Steve Jobs? I’m just dipping my toe in the water with the capabilities of my mitts, but these things just BLOW MY MIND. If you haven’t got any, or like my Mum, you’ve got all complacent and blase about them, I’m going to remind you how ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT they are.
1) Hands can pick stuff up. And you DON’T EVEN HAVE TO TELL THEM TO. You don’t have to shout “Pick up” at them or press a certain button or unlock them with keys or a code. They just GO – EXACTLY WHEN YOU WANT THEM TO. It’s like they’re hard wired to your brain or something. Pure magic.
2) Hands can also put stuff down. This sounds pretty low key but it is fantastically useful if used in tandem with point 1.
3) Hands can grab stuff. Toys – yep. Dummies – no problem. Hair – you betcha. They’re not like magnets, you can go for ANYTHING YOU WANT. Even neck skin. Drew a bit of blood from Dad last week. He wasn’t happy, but he seemed to accept I’m just a beginner with the things. I’m bound to have a few teething probs (and don’t get me started on teething probs).
4) Hands can wave at stuff. Alright, alright, I know: so can feet, but I challenge you to wave your feet with the same nonchalant grace and carefree ease as you can a hand. I kicked myself in the head trying – you know why? Cause they’re feet. Wouldn’t have happened with a hand.
5) Hands can type. If it wasn’t for my dinky digits, you wouldn’t be sat here now, soaking up my pearls of wisdom. You’d be doing Sunday stuff like ironing or washing the car or doing some DIY. Instead, you’re being enlightened. You’re welcome.
I have a considerable journey to make in order to truly get best value from my phalanges, but I look forward to snatching, scribbling, pulling and tearing my way up the steep learning curve ahead.
So here’s to hands. An unsung legend in their own purchase providing lunchtime.