To contact me you can:
1) shout REALLY loud
2) scour the US for the most attractive, intelligent, modest young mother you have the blessed good fortunate to stumble across
3) email me at email@example.com
4) direct message me on twitter @my_funny_mummy
5) or to really make an impression, why not employ some sort of carrier pigeon thingy and go for the old school touch?
This form can also work: