Betty is one year old.And I, unsurprisingly, am not at my target post natal weight. Bloody Domino's.
On the plus side, there has been a notable improvement on the condition of my genitals when compared with this time last year (my undercarriage now in fine fettle - incontinence and raging haemorrhoids aside - thanks for asking.)
The arrival of The Poop's first birthday was marked by a three day carnival of visitors, nap-less excitement and subsequently bad tempered afternoons and evenings - especially when I discovered that the multitudes of presents this year were actually for Boo, and not stuff I could pose about with.So, I thought, since you've bothered to turn out here for a gander at how things went down, I'd bring you highlights of the three days, complete with images of The Poop in all her one year old glory.
|The Poop, sensing the vast wodges of cash that have been spent in her direction, wakes to welcome the world to her birthday.|
|Betty has a birthday ride around the park on her brand new bike. That's right - that tarmac is classed as a park.|
Come on, what did you expect? We live in St Helens.
|Betty's first ever birthday candle, in her first ever 'practise' birthday cake. She didn't blow it out, so I made a wish on her behalf; it involved the words "My Mum", "lovely person" and "Spirograph please".|
|The Poop reclining in her new armchair. It came equipped with ginormous arms that recline it for you.|
|Betty's 'Ladybird' birthday party, and a particularly poor show on the buffet table. Thankfully, the relatives are easily pleased|
|Betty's real first birthday cake. And who's that peeping out from behind one of those beautiful turrets...?|
|...why, it's Underdog from the National Accident Helpline adverts, voiced by Joe Pasquale. |
Isn't he the hero of every twelve month old?
|A giant ladybird surrounded by pressies...|
|..oh, no, my mistake, it's the birthday girl, opening her 417th staggeringly loud and gratingly repetitive electronic toy.|
Here's to The Poop...and tinnitus.