Friday, 24 August 2012

Sugar Anniversary

Six years ago today, I married David Michael Briars.
If it hadn't been for this very day, six years ago:
  • I would still receive post addressed to 'Miss Catherine Balls'/'Miss Catherine Bowels' - neither of which, not once in six years, have I ever missed
  • The washing basket would fill up much more slowly
  • I would waste less cups of tea
  • There would be no-one to text when I'm really happy
  • I would read more celebrity magazines and would be all the more fashionable, yet much the poorer, for it
  • I wouldn't have to sit through half an hour of Call of Duty sound effects between my 7:30pm and 8:30pm doses of Coronation Street
  • I would have cold feet in bed
  • There would be no unopened post in our house
  • I could have a poo without running the taps to muffle my trumps and splashes
  • I could have the heating on, all day, all year.
  • I would have to run to the garage for chocolate myself
  • I would buy limitless pillows/candles/incense sticks/rooms fresheners

  • There would be no-one to text when I'm really upset
  • I would have a tidier garage/hallway/kitchen/bathroom/whole house
  • I could pick at the hard skin on my feet until having laid a thick, crust like carpet of muesli-fied flesh kernels throughout the house
  • I would know far less useless information about weapons/body language/psychology/chai tea latte
  • I would mainly exist via beans on toast
  • I wouldn't have a soul mate, who has taught me how to laugh, dream and love with my whole body, my whole heart and my whole soul. I would never have the chance to be here, feeling how I feel. I would never have been a whole me - cause I would have had never had you.
  • And there would be no Betty Poop.
Unthinkable.

2 comments:

  1. Happy Anniversary! Yeppers there are definitely some compromises that come along with living in wedded bliss. Take this one "I would buy limitless pillows/candles/incense sticks/rooms fresheners" , same goes for me/us.

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    Replies
    1. It's worth it though, isn't it?
      Apart from the over stuffed washing basket, obviously
      Hope you're well x x

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