As If

Trusted with a CHILD. The NHS actually let her take me home. Disgusting. This week alone, this woman has...

• Allowed some chap to attempt to drown me in a bowl of freezing cold water
• Passed me from pillar to post around a room full of questionable looking strangers
• Ensured her place as a future inhabitant of Eternal Damnation after inciting a riot with God by blaspheming about the protocol of the church
• Locked us both INSIDE the car

Then she wants me TO GO TO SLEEP ON HER!! I wasn't born yesterday. Alright seven months might not sound long to you, but trust me, with Frank Spencer for a mother, it's long enough to learn you remain vigilant in her company at all times. "Ooh Betty"? More like "Prepare-yourself-for-another-catalogue-of-series-errors-in-judgement-that-may-result-in-accidents-involving-explosives-highly-flammable-liquids-or-heavy-plant-machinery Betty".


I've been on here five minutes; she could be up to anything by now. I swear to God you can't take your eye off her for a second. In fact.....*stops to listen intently to unnerving quiet reverberating about the house*....
Gotta go....


BB x