Roo

Dear Roo

You are amazing.
You are the kindest, most giving, most physically and mentally tolerant inanimate object I have ever had the pleasure of meeting the acquaintance of. My admiration of you is boundless.

You lie beside Boo nightly, while our cruel daughter whinges, howls and screams directly into your lughole, and you withstand this acoustic torment without so much as a whimper of objection. You lie there knowing that at some point in the evening, myself or her Dad will put an end to your desperate attempts to escape the prison of your auditory suffering, and wrap your abused tail round the bars of Boo's cot and stuff its battered tip beneath her mattress so you have no alternative but to endure every distressing decibel. Your mere presence saves us hours of comforting, cuddling and calming.

Once said bellowing has died down, the way you are able to lie there, taking punch after punch in the face while Boo aggressively approaches the land of nod, showing what a true champion among teddies you truly are. You allow your ears, hands and face to be tugged at, gnawed and chewed every bedtime in your 'never say die' attitude towards helping our child drift off to sleep, marking you out, in our eyes, as a genuine Samaritan.

You then lie there a cold, injured, spit sodden mess while your vicious assailant finally hits slumber, but just when you believe respite is in sight, she always finds time to land that lowest of final blows, by beginning to snore like a rhino with sinusitis. Gold plated proof, if any was needed, of how phenomenally gallant you truly are.

And through all this you still remain composed, soft and cuddly, and smelling of that Disney Store wonder scent stuff. Yummy.

Please do not take any of this exploitation personally - if anything it is a compliment - Boo simply cannot sleep without your self-sacrificing company. She adores you, and we do too. Where you lead, other plush toys can only follow.
We can never thank you, or Sam who bought you for us, enough.
(We won't tell you her address in case you decide to hunt her down.)

Arise Sir Roo

PS - We have decided will now tie you to the cot bars as it's a pain in the bum having to walk all the way upstairs to keep putting you back in when she slings you against the wall. Soz about that.